Recently I was invited to a school reunion. A chance, to meet all those dear dear friends that I haven’t seen since I was 16. But you see there’s a reason I haven’t met all those dear dear friends since I was 16.
It’s not because time passed so quickly. It’s not even because life’s events overtook those oh so precious relationships, and here I am, 40yrs old with time to catch up and see what life has thrown at my oldest dearest friends.
You see my dear friends, it’s none of the above or anything else you can think of. It’s because of this; I couldn’t stand the fucking sight of you set of cunts for all the unfortunate years I was incarcerated with you during the happiest days of our lives. In the interim I moved away from the shit hole that is Earlestown & I travelled the world!! That’s right readers; I actually have spent more that a two week annual holiday to the Costa Wanka away from the place I was born. And to boot I didn’t marry my best friends sister.
You see, all you School Re-unionists I don’t hate you, it’s with a heavy heart that I write this sorry tale. It’s a sorry tale because of this simple fact. Deep down you feel the same too. As you look at the photographs of this momentous occasion ask yourself this. Did the prick to the right of you actually constitute as a friend? What were those glorious childhood memories that have been so perfectly encapsulated on your reunion photos all these years on?
In a one stop, fits all moment of crazy sale madness I’ve saved a little bit for you.
I’m not full of bile, but then again I’m not full of shit either.
Anyway, I’m off upstairs to kiss my kids goodnight before snuggling up to the woman I love. Tomorrow I’ll speak, text, e-mail my friends. All of it in the present and I wont think of you for a single. . . fucking. . . .second.
